Posted in Mental Health, Posts

Oversharing online; is it a cry for help?

So, I just watched Dodie’s video on oversharing online, and it gave me a lot of thoughts. I’m someone that also puts a lot of my mental health stuff online, and I’m getting to a point where I’m starting to rely on it as an outlet. To me, it helps, just to get it somewhere that isn’t my head. However, she talked about a couple of things that I thought were interesting, and one of them was that it might be a cry for help. 

Being a YouTuber, a whole heap of her life is online, and her YouTube friends are all watching and reading what she posts. So, it could seem like she wants them to see it, and come to her and ask if she’s okay. She wasn’t entirely sure if that was what she wanted, but she did admit feeling a bit embarrassed after certain posts. For me, my blog has always been really private, and a big part of my mental health is that I feel like a burden, so talking on here is the perfect outlet for me. No one is going to worry about me, but I still get to talk. Now, though, my friends are (or at least, sometimes) read my posts, and all my sad stuff has just… gone away. I mean, it’s still in my head, but it sure as hell isn’t on here. It comes back to that burden thing, and me not wanting them to know that I need help. If something was really wrong, I could go to them (well, probably), but most of the time I don’t feel like I need to, or I don’t want to. And don’t get me wrong, I know this is a problem, but we’ll talk about that another day. Maybe. Anyway, it was interesting to me that talking about your problems online could be looked at as a cry for help, when to me it’s the opposite. I don’t want to cry out for help, so I come here instead. 

The other problem that her friend Hazel thought was the main one was that it can be incredibly triggering for people who suffer with similar sort of stuff. And I completely understand that! Dodie does a lot of her stuff over Snapchat, so it can come out at the most unexpected times. I think blog posts and YouTube videos are different, because you have a warning through the title, and you can choose to stop reading after the first introductory lines. In saying that, though, I unfollowed a person quite recently because it felt like all she was talking about were her mental health problems. I couldn’t deal with it at all, it was too much for me. I try to make sure I mix it up with some more positive stuff, but when my head is a Mess, I might not feel able to write much that’s positive. And although it helps me to write the sad stuff, do I need to consider you, the reader, more? Am I being unfair on your brains by writing endless sad stuff? Or, should I just assume that people will read it if they want to, and ignore it if they don’t? Can it actually help, knowing you aren’t entirely alone? 

I definitely have way more thoughts on this video, especially in relation to me, but it’d get to a point of just too many words. So, let’s discuss! What do you think? How much do you post about negative stuff? Should I put me before you, or is there a healthy mix of both somewhere? 

Advertisements

Author:

I was a book blogger for a while, and I now blog about every little thing in life I can think of. Bear with me while I try all these new posts out... I'm a New Zealand teen who gets angry about the world (but not angry enough for tumblr). I like to capture the world through photos and words, and read in all the moments in nz-squadbetween. I have an overwhelming desire to see every corner of the world I possibly can, and hug the people I love in all those corners. I can't do make up to save myself, and you're more likely to find me buying matching stationary than matching clothes. My nerd hobbies include a new found love of the Avengers, reading YA, watching Game of Thrones, How I Met Your Mother, and every vlogger I can find, and being the last person on the music bandwagons. I have big plans for the rest of my life, including university, teaching, travelling, and having an army of puppies. I plan to blog every second of it!

18 thoughts on “Oversharing online; is it a cry for help?

  1. Hi Victoria! In terms of your question “putting me before you” ALWAYS put yourself first when it comes to opening up about your mental health and talking about how you feel. This is your blog and you can write whatever you damn well please!! I don’t think it’s a cry for help, I think it’s an outlet. A good one too because you can get different opinions and possibly talk to people with similar experiences.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!! Yeah, I try to use it as an outlet. And you’re right, I’ve found that it’s so helpful knowing there are people experiencing the same sort of stuff, it makes me feel a lot less alone. This comment is perfect, thank youuuu 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. First, you are brave and incredible and admirable. 🙂 Second, I can’t speak to your question regarding how much negative stuff I put on line, because I don’t…I post when I have worked through much of what I’ve wrestled with (that’s not a dig…). Additionally, I don’t suffer from mental health challenges that rise to the level of “clinical”. Not that I don’t struggle (we all do), but I don’t experience depression, panic attacks etc. As to whether you should put your readers’ needs above your own need to share, I believe you are meant to do whatever is helpful for you. We can stop reading any time…your friends can ask you if you are okay….you are not responsible for other people, although, of course you wouldn’t want them to suffer in service of being scared for you. That’s where communication comes in. Lastly, I get being able to share things, here, that you wouldn’t necessarily want to share with people in your “in-person-world. Thank you for your awesome and thought-provoking post (and for sharing the video). 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, that’s so lovely of you to say! I completely understand only wanting to post once it’s not so much of a problem, but I guess writing it all out has become part of my “working it out” process. Yeah, I definitely don’t ever want people to feel like I’m a burden, or they’re obligated to look after me, but I think you’re right, just communicating that is a good thing. Thank you so much for this comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t post too much about negative stuff online, but that’s because I’m a fairly private person–that goes for both places like my blog and my personal Facebook. I don’t have a problem with other people posting negative things, as long as it’s in moderation. I think in some cases it can be really helpful to realize that other people have problems and that just because people may be focusing on the positives on social media, that doesn’t actually mean their life is perfect. Everyone has stuff they’re going through, and I think people can connect over that and find support online. On the other hand, yeah, the reality is that if you post negative things online all the time…people will begin to be annoyed by you. I don’t know if that’s “fair,” but I think it’s the reality.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah, I completely get that! I can be private in real life, but not so much on here. You’re right, it is really reassuring to know you aren’t alone, with whatever might be going on that is less than perfect. Even getting comments from people is helping me with that 🙂 And I definitely try not to be negative 100% of the time, because you’re so right, people will turn away! Thanks for this comment!

      Like

  4. This was really interesting to read. I’m starting to think that maybe I’m too negative on my blog and a lot of the time I feel guilty that people are reading what I’m going through and selfish for talking about it. But for me writing my feelings on here is the outlet I feel comfortable with, because sometimes like you I don’t want to burden friends irl with my problems and wouldn’t know who to go to, and sometimes I need to ramble on my blog to actually be able to make any sense of how I’m feeling. It’s a difficult topic, but I’d say do whatever works for you, I know for me connecting with people who are going through similar things through blogging is useful​ and I like to think I can help other people too by showing them they’re not alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What I’m learning through reading all these comments is that if you are being really negative, people just won’t read it, and that’s okay. No one is obligated to read your every post, so they can’t complain if they read something they don’t like. I think it’s definitely important to have a mix, though! Writing out problems can be so helpful, I completely agree. And it’s so good knowing we aren’t alone 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I had to REALLY concentrate and try to figure out what my opinion about this! First of all, I think it depends on which platform you are posting your content on and the reason why you are sharing them with the world. If friends and family know about your platform and you lay you emotions bare online, it kind of doesn’t make sense. It’s not like they are not going to know what is happening to you. Although if, like me, you are private, it is definitely a great way to let out your feelings. But to me, it mostly goes back to the reasons and motives you have started a blog or youtube channel: Do you want to follow the trend and make everything sound pretty and amazing and perfect, or do you want to be honest and simply have this space to talk about whatever you want? (obviously it’s a general “you”). If people don’t want to watch you or read what you write, they will unfollow you. Sometimes on twitter it happens to me to, somebody talks about things I don’t want to deal with or face, so I simply avoid them. Nobody forces anybody to watch. Snapchat is definitely not the platform to talk about mental illness, in my opinion. I hope not to sound too bitter. It wasn’t my intention. LOVE this post and the discussion in the comments!!! xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is a really interesting comment, I love it! I like your point about it depending on the platform, because you’re right, some are a lot more private than others. My blog is mostly private, and only a couple of friends read my stuff, and even then it isn’t all the time. And I really like your point about it depending on why you write! You’re right, I do want it to be about whatever I want, I shouldn’t have to filter it to make sure I keep my followers. It’s tricky, though, to work out the line. Thanks so much for this comment, I’m so glad you added to the discussion! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Never put anyone before you, especially when it comes to your mental health ❤️ From the blogpost/first paragraph people can see what the post will be about and whether or not they want to/can read it. You could put a little disclaimer at the top of your post, summarising what the post will be about and/or adding trigger warnings, that way people can see for themselves whether they want to read it or not. If you need to write about it, write about it, ok? ❤️ *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s