It’s been agreed by my friends that being single SUCKS. I mean, a lot of people agree, but this was a conversation we had pretty recently, about how we all want to fall in love and have a cute little relationship. Let me give a quick bit of background – me and another girl, who have both been in decent relationships (and probably in love), and a boy who was in a relationship until about February. The boy is 10/10, and typical me, I’ve gone and fallen for him (I KNOW). Anyway, he is desperate for that person to have, since he had one so recently, whereas us two are more used to it. Does that mean I don’t want it, though? Absolutely not.
I really love that feeling of being in love. Those butterflies in your stomach, that need to be close all the time, and having that one person that can be everything. Actually, not even love exactly, the beginnings of a relationship have that beautiful nervousness to them that I love as well. I want to love someone that deserves the entire world, and I want to know that they love me irrevocably as well. Honestly, even having a crush is just a really nice feeling – but we can get to that. I want little dates, and cuddles, and inside jokes, and happiness even when it feels like everything else is going wrong. I want the
stuff you put in songs, or I put in my writing, and everyone else cringes about it (but we all know we secretly love it).
The problem with this is the second person. Like I said, there’s this boy, but I have been heavily friend-zoned (I know, it’s a stupid concept, but what else do I call it?). And I’m fine, really (mostly), but that feeling of wanting love makes it so much worse. Normal me could probably get over it, but when I have all these feelings anyway, my brain just doesn’t want to let me move on. Which, you know, is fun. The other problem is I put a face to all those ideas, not just a cute idea. And I am getting SMITTEN, which is obviously Not Good, since he’s pretty clear he just wants to be friends.
Do you see how badly these two things go together? I really need someone else to fall for, or at least be neutral so I can see who I might meet. But, apparently not yet. Yet being the most important word, I can get there.
Is this #relatable or am I just venting? Do you guys ever just generally want a relationship, or do you usually focus it on one particular person?
An update; this is a re-post, of feelings from a while ago, that are actually (luckily) gone now. He still thinks he’s a 10/10 though, dear GOD was that a mistake for his ego. I still want a relationship, and let’s be honest, I’m bound to fall for someone who isn’t good for me sometime soon…