Get ready for mushy romance-y rubbish. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
For the first time ever, I have a crush on a girl. A proper crush I mean, now that I’ve actually realised my sexuality and such. And I don’t do crushes half-heartedly, I obsess. It’s gross, but anyway, that’s where I’m at with this girl right now.
God, she’s gorgeous. We’ll get to personality stuff, but she is gorgeous. She runs her hands through her hair, and I die a little bit inside. She dresses as if she doesn’t give a damn what you think, and she only wants to impress herself, and I love that sort of confidence. Her sweatshirts are a bit too big, and she’s bigger than me anyway, and I would kill to cuddle up in one of those sweatshirts. She has tips upon tips to help friends like me look pretty, which is a plus. Her make-up is always a good natural-looking thing, and even without make up she radiates this… gorgeous-ness. I need a better word, but that’s what she is.
Far more importantly, she’s so easy to talk to. We’ve only really become close over the last year, and I feel like she knows me incredibly well. I feel like I know her well too, of course, but I don’t know how much she tells me compared to other people. I’m comfortable telling her my problems, and my past (sounds more mysterious than it is), and all the stuff going on in my head, because I know she’ll be supportive and kind. I almost never having mundane conversations with her. They always make me think, or get a new perspective on something, or unpack something that’s been bugging one of us for a while. I feel like I can never get bored talking to her.
And don’t get me wrong, she’s definitely not perfect. She has a lot going on, and people who aren’t good for her. Does that push me away? The opposite, actually. I feel an overwhelming need to protect her, and fight anyone who hurts her. She’s so good and pure, she doesn’t deserve any pain (because that’s realistic, right?). I feel honoured that she trusts me enough to tell me what’s going on, though. It also, in a strange way, makes her more human. Like I said, I wish none of it was going on, but it’s comforting to know I’m not alone. If everything fell apart for me, I have that one person that gets it. With the lost sort of feeling I have with my friends currently (see this post), it’s good to have somewhere I can go where that feeling goes away.
Yeah, I’m a tad obsessed. I’m not apologising, though, because I’ve only scratched the surface of the wonderfullness that is this girl, and can’t you see how lovely she is?