I’m not a “real girl”

I hope at this point the people reading this blog are aware that ideas of masculinity and femininity are completely outdated. Boys don’t have to play sport, girls don’t have to play with dolls. Blue and pink are not colours limited to one gender. This is pretty basic stuff, right, I’m not blowing anyone’s mind with this revelation?

In the real world, though, this isn’t something that people are all aware of. I know, I had to take a moment too. One of the things I most like about myself is my ability to keep on being me, and it terms of being a “real girl” I’m pretty good at doing this. And most of my friends are, and always have been, boys… A coincidence?

The biggest thing I don’t do as a girl is wear “girly” things. This means I’m one of a handful of girls in my year group that doesn’t wear make-up, I’ve never really liked dresses or skirts (I own maybe three), and I wore flat shoes to my leavers ball. I very proudly told a guy friend that I’d come in flats and no bra, and I was very happy with myself, and he high fived me. When I told girls the same, though, they were shocked that I wasn’t wearing heels – don’t your legs look worse? Girls don’t really wear flats? What do you mean you’re comfy?? Because that’s what it all comes down to, comfort and laziness. One girl very proudly told me she wore her shoes the whole night, and didn’t know many other people who had done the same. I knew they wouldn’t be comfy, so I wore flats! I’m realising this is making me sound like I think I’m better than everyone who wore heels, but I really don’t, I promise. I do think I’m better than the girls who wore heels and complained about being in pain, though. Those people don’t make any sense to me. 

Dresses and skirts are a different thing, though. Personally, I sit with my legs all over the place (man-spreading, you could say, but shouldn’t), so when I wear a dress or skirt, it’s not a pretty sight for anyone sitting at the wrong angle. When other people want to feel pretty and wear a nice dress, then go for it! That’s a personal style thing, and I don’t think anyone should judge anyone else for their personal style. However, same with the heels thing, I get judged for not wearing them! People are honestly shocked when I would tell them only a year ago that I only owned one dress. I rebelled so much against that that I refused to even consider buying any others. I bought one just recently though, because I look cute in it, and I’m glad I’ve started accepting that I can like jeans over dresses but still wear the occasional dress. 

What’s important from all of this is that none of it makes me any less of a girl. I’m just not the same girl as another person that goes to the supermarket in heels and a full face of make up. We are both valid. Again, louder. WE ARE BOTH VALID. There’s no right way to be a girl, and although people are never outright rude, the judgement is very clear…