Posted in Discussions, Posts

I’m not a “real girl”

I hope at this point the people reading this blog are aware that ideas of masculinity and femininity are completely outdated. Boys don’t have to play sport, girls don’t have to play with dolls. Blue and pink are not colours limited to one gender. This is pretty basic stuff, right, I’m not blowing anyone’s mind with this revelation?

In the real world, though, this isn’t something that people are all aware of. I know, I had to girly-girltake a moment too. One of the things I most like about myself is my ability to keep on being me, and it terms of being a “real girl” I’m pretty good at doing this. And most of my friends are, and always have been, boys… A coincidence?

The biggest thing I don’t do as a girl is wear “girly” things. This means I’m one of a handful of girls in my year group that doesn’t wear make-up, I’ve never really liked dresses or skirts (I own maybe three), and I wore flat shoes to my leavers ball. I very proudly told a guy friend that I’d come in flats and no bra, and I was very happy with myself, and he high fived me. When I told girls the same, though, they were shocked that I wasn’t wearing heels – don’t your legs look worse? Girls don’t really wear flats? What do you mean you’re comfy?? Because that’s what it all comes down to, comfort and laziness. One girl very proudly told me she wore her shoes the whole night, and didn’t know many other people who had done the same. I knew they wouldn’t be comfy, so I wore flats! I’m realising this is making me sound like I think I’m better than everyone who wore heels, but I really don’t, I promise. I do think I’m better than the girls who wore heels and complained about being in pain, though. Those people don’t make any sense to me.Β 

Dresses and skirts are a different thing, though. Personally, I sit with my legs all over the place (man-spreading, you could say, but shouldn’t), so when I wear a dress or skirt, it’s not a pretty sight for anyone sitting at the wrong angle. When other people want to feel pretty and wear a nice dress, then go for it! That’s a personal style thing, and I don’t think anyone should judge anyone else for their personal style. However, same with the heels thing, I get judged for not wearing them! People are honestly shocked when I would tell them only a year ago that I only owned one dress. I rebelled so much against that that I refused to even consider buying any others. I bought one just recently though, because I look cute in it, and I’m glad I’ve started accepting that I can like jeans over dresses but still wear the occasional dress.Β girls-vs-tomboys

What’s important from all of this is that none of it makes me any less of a girl. I’m just not the same girl as another person that goes to the supermarket in heels and a full face of make up. We are both valid. Again, louder. WE ARE BOTH VALID. There’s no right way to be a girl, and although people are never outright rude, the judgement is very clear…Β 

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Author:

I was a book blogger for a while, and I now blog about every little thing in life I can think of. Bear with me while I try all these new posts out... I'm a New Zealand teen who gets angry about the world (but not angry enough for tumblr). I like to capture the world through photos and words, and read in all the moments in nz-squadbetween. I have an overwhelming desire to see every corner of the world I possibly can, and hug the people I love in all those corners. I can't do make up to save myself, and you're more likely to find me buying matching stationary than matching clothes. My nerd hobbies include a new found love of the Avengers, reading YA, watching Game of Thrones, How I Met Your Mother, and every vlogger I can find, and being the last person on the music bandwagons. I have big plans for the rest of my life, including university, teaching, travelling, and having an army of puppies. I plan to blog every second of it!

14 thoughts on “I’m not a “real girl”

  1. YESSSS TO ALL OF THIS. I find it really frustrating that people think you need to wear a skirt or dress to look smart, like???? No thanks, I shall wear what I am comfortable wearing. No one is telling boys that they’re not smart because they aren’t wearing skirts or whatever. (Though obviously it’s cool to wear those things too! Like you said, everyone is valid. All things are cool.)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thank you! I’m the same way. I don’t do make up or dresses, if I do it’s on VERY rare occasions. I’ve never liked the idea of dressing up all the time and wearing make up everyday (please don’t think I’m hating I’m not) I just feel like that doesn’t show you who you really are. It’s like you’re always wearing a mask, hiding who you are and followng the worlds step-by-step instruction. If someone is going to love you for you, then you need to be YOU. I dont care if my girl friends or guy friends see me in my pjs without a bra on! They know me, and I’m comfortable being myself around them. And it’s really nice to not care about what I look like around them.πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I definitely know what you mean! If I do wear make up its for a special occasion, but I agree that it’s like wearing a mask. I’m so glad you can be that comfortable with your friends, and the sorts of people that would judge you for that aren’t people you’d want to be friends with anyway πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I own one dress and zero skirts at the moment. There have been plenty of times in my life where those numbers have even been lower. I also happen to never ever wear heels πŸ˜‰ I sit comfortably and walk with ease! And I go to work without makeup very often. Go you πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

  4. It’s very easy to wear a nice shirt and jeans to a formal event? I’ve done that plenty of times! I do like wearing skirts and dresses here and there, but for a long time it was just jeans for me. I wear make up when I want to wear it, and not because I feel like I should because everyone else is. (Currently it’s because I have had an outbreak of spots so if I’m going out I feel less self conscious if I’ve covered them up!)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It really should be, I don’t understand why there’s judgement! And yeah, that definitely makes sense, because it’s for your own confidence πŸ™‚ As long as it’s because YOU want to it’s fine!

      Liked by 1 person

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