It is PRIDE MONTH and I am SO BI and SO PROUD. What am I going to write about, you ask? Some profound, bi perspective we haven’t heard before? Nah. Just gonna talk about uni, and the hella bi life I’m leading since I got here.
So, as per with just about everyone, coming out was a bit of a process. Nothing too terrible, but still, it was something that felt like a really big deal to me. The thing with “coming out” is that it’s not so much informing everyone of your sexuality, it’s telling everyone that you aren’t exactly as they thought you were. Not worse, or better, just different to how they’d perceived you up until now. And it’s scary, having to tell people that you’re a different person, even though we all know that it doesn’t change who you are as a person at all.
University is completely different, because no one has those pre-conceived ideas of you. I can walk into a room, and I can be whoever I want to be. And, being bi, that means I can just drop that into conversation really early on. Anyone who wants to be homophobic or biphobic is dropped from my life so fast, because I don’t have any sort of connection with them to care what they think. Plus, there’s no fear with me having to tell them. It’s just one little personality thing, I drop it in in the same way I drop in that I have a younger brother.
The best thing that helped with the “dropping it in” plan was joining the LGBTQ+ group on campus. They held a Rainbow Tea during orientation, so I just mentioned that I was going to that, and explained why. And, oh man, that group. I don’t go nearly as much as I should, because it’s a 15 minute bus ride into town to get to the meeting, but the first meeting was so… We just sat around, being gay, and loving each other without any judgement whatsoever. At least, no judgement about things like sexuality or gender. It’s little things like someone introducing themselves and following it up by asking my preferred pronouns. Which makes sense, right, but isn’t something I ever thought to ask. Or making jokes about bi erasure, talking about same-sex sex lives (mine being non-existant, but hey). It’s knowing that there’s a whole group of people that think that it’s pretty damn cool that I’m bi, and knowing that they’re there if anything was to ever happen to me. And, knowing that I’m there for them, despite not knowing any of them very well.
Being bi at uni compared to high school is such a different experience, but in the best way possible. Not that high school was bad, but uni is… well, fabulous.
Have you found a difference? Do you come out casually, or do you feel like it’s a big deal? Are you part of your institute’s LGBTQ+ group?