I’m a scaredy cat and I’m… proud?

I’m sitting here writing this while my friends sit in another room watching a horror – Sinister, to be exact. I hate horror, always have, and when the group that was hanging in my room decided to leave and watch the movie, I opted to stay here. Apparently, that just wasn’t an option. I had a girl clinging onto me with her blanket, everyone explaining how I didn’t have to watch, and a boy telling me it “wouldn’t be the same” if I wasn’t there. So, with everyone knowing I was going to be on my phone for most of it, I decided to go and watch it. Maybe I’ve gotten better at watching these things, right? 

I lasted maybe half an hour. If you don’t know the movie is, from what I gathered, about a family that were hanged, and a writer is trying to work out why. There’s some creepy kidnapping and tortue and night terrors and stuff, and apparently it just gets worse from there. Woo hoo! I sat on my phone, read some blog posts, sent some emails… But the music, guys. And the occassional scene where I couldn’t look away. Gasps from my friends, some of who were freaking out. I had to leave. Right now, I’m writing because if I try to watch something else I think I’ll have those things stuck in my head. My hands are all sweaty, and I kind of want to vomit. This is from HALF AN HOUR. How was I meant to cope through the entire movie??

Now, let me explain the title. I hate that all my friends are hanging out without me, and I love how they were really anxious for me to be there, so I gave in pretty fast. But I left, because I was too scared, and I’m pretty proud of myself for not letting that feeling of being left out become the most important thing. I like the me that has the confidence to get up and leave, because that me wouldn’t have existed a couple of years ago. I wish I could be a fan, but I just don’t understand scaring yourself on purpose! 

Also, according to a little bit of googling I did, it’s to do with positive experiences and adrenline rushes – so, maybe me, the person that hates rollercoasters and driving and anything with the slightest possibility of death, was never going to enjoy horror… 

Basically, this is me writing to stop thinking. It’ll go away, I’m completely fine, just give me five minutes. Do you guys like horror, or are you like me? Or are you just pretty neutral about the whole thing?