A little while ago I got into a deep and meaningful chat with one of my bestest friends, about something I do a lot that’s a bit of a problem. Basically, I accidentally ditched her to hang out with other people at a party, and she called me up on it, saying that I hang out with one of these people a lot in particular. She said that I often “embody the personalities of the people you’re around,” and I knew that I took on a lot of mannerisms of the people I’m closest to, but this was something completely new to me. As soon as she said it though, and told me that I’d done it before with my American sister, I realised that she was completely right, it’s something I do a lot. It’s probably a flaw, really, since it ends up with me doing things like abandoning my friend at parties when she isn’t close with anyone else there!
I really really love this self-analysing stuff, especially when it’s something that someone else has noticed about me but I haven’t picked up on, so I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about it since she said it. My thing is, I go all or nothing with everything in life, like I talked about in this post, and people are no exception. So, with the girl I’ve just recently become really close to, I’m doing the same full obsession thing that I always do. It’s not that I don’t like my older friends, because I do, I love them to bits. I just like other people too, y’know?
And I don’t want to go and defend myself, because if I did something hurtful there’s really nothing I can say to change that. You can’t decide what should or shouldn’t hurt other people! But obviously the people I hang out with are pretty cool – if they weren’t, I wouldn’t want anything to do with them. I admire the people I hang out with for a whole load of different reasons, so if I’m taking on parts of their personality, is that really all that bad? Surely I’m improving the kind of person I am if I’m becoming more like the people I admire?
Or, on the other side of that, am I changing myself to fit in with other people? Maybe I subconsciously think that I need to act a certain way to be accepted by certain people. I don’t think is true at all, and I have been properly considering it. But it’s easily something that I could be doing, and that definitely would be a problem. You should never feel like you have to change to be liked by someone!
So, here I am, post written, with no conclusions. I don’t think it’s something I need to change, but of course I don’t, otherwise I never would have done it in the first place. What do you think though? Am I a horrible friend, or can I carry on with my life as it is? Give me advice please??