Creating For Me (small YouTuber)

In February, I started up this YouTube channel, and although my videos haven’t been exactly regular, I’ve still done 34 videos. 34! And for that, I have 40 subscribers. Don’t get me wrong, I’m incredibly thankful for every single person that’s subscribed, but to be honest, when I started I expected more. Here’s what I’m realising, though; this channel isn’t about getting the most subscribers. It’s about me, wanting to create. 

There are two different types of video that I make, mostly. One is a casual, sit-down vlog, and the other is a more “arty” interpretation of something, generally a mish mash of different clips with a nice song over the top. I love making both, of course I do. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be doing it! But I feel like to be a youtuber, I should make more vlogs, and those are the ones that I’m more likely to be unhappy with, for the sake of getting views. Take me Christmas haul video, for example; I should have done something a bit more creative, but instead I sat down and filmed a generic haul, and uploaded something I wasn’t completely happy with. It’s not that I didn’t try, I just didn’t spend time making some sort of a plan. 

What I want to do with my channel from now is start creating for me, and stop creating for the public. This doesn’t mean no vlogs, and this doesn’t mean I don’t want to make videos about things that are more likely to get me views. What it does mean, though, is that I need to focus more on making things that I’m genuinely proud of putting out into the world. Maybe that’s putting a twist on something generic, maybe that’s filming and re-filming until I’m happy, or planning a video more than usual. It isn’t about getting it out at the same time as everyone else so that I’m part of the trend. It’s about creating for me!

In saying this, I also want more subscribers, I’m not going to pretend I don’t. So, yes, I do have a video about Moana going up soon. People like Moana, it’s something that might attract people! But I’ve done it in a way that’s more exciting than me just sitting and talking, and I’m not going to upload it until I’m completely happy with it. I’m writing this so I hold myself up to my promise, instead of thinking it once and then carrying on with what I was doing before. I want my channel to be good, dammit, and good in a way that I’m proud of, not other people. 

This really all goes for blogging as well, but for some reason I feel like I’m more true to what I want to say on here. I think putting my face on the internet makes it more real?